Being a successful musician, with my 13 year old Peugeot spewing oil onto the road outside my overcrowded house which is full of pets I don’t even want and a door mat mountain of bills and final demands, people often ask me what the key to being a mega rich music success is, so I’ve outlined it here.
Become a Music Success in 5 EASY Steps:
- Buy instrument, form band.
- Record song, argue with band mates.
- Release and sell song, split up band because you’re untouchable and they’re just freeloaders on the coat tails of your brilliance.
- Get rich, develop unhealthy addiction to narcotics, throw tv out of hotel window.
- Die of drug overdose, death by misadventure (usually by hanging yourself in a hotel with a carrier bag over your head) or suicide.
If you don’t complete step 5 then you do not qualify as one of musics greats. Sorry, those are the rules – I don’t make them, everyone else does.